Welcome!

Food for Thought

Finding Joy in Discomfort:

Practical Therapy Tools to Shift Your Experience

The question of finding joy in discomfort was posed to me during a retreat in Peru. How do you find joy on an 8-hour hike at 8,000 ft above sea level? It's easy to find joy when you're doing something you love, even if it's uncomfortable, but what about when the discomfort is outside of your control in a situation you didn't sign up for?

Discomfort is an inevitable part of life—awkward conversations, uncertain transitions, grief, growth. But what if discomfort doesn’t have to be the enemy? What if it’s actually a signal—an invitation to pay attention, shift gears, or grow? Finding joy in discomfort doesn’t mean denying pain or forcing positivity—it means choosing curiosity, connection, and small moments of peace in the midst of the hard stuff. Here are some therapy-based tools that can help you lean into discomfort—and maybe even find joy there.

1. Observe the Signs of Discomfort

Before you can work with discomfort, you have to notice it. Discomfort often first shows up in the body—tight shoulders, shallow breathing, clenched jaw. Your body speaks before your thoughts catch up. Knowing cues that signal discomfort can help you cope ahead and activate skills sooner.

Try this: Pause and do a quick body scan. Where are you holding tension? What emotions or sensations are present? Name the physical sensations, thoughts, and urges. You might say: "I'm noticing tension in chest, urges to avoid, thoughts of failing."
Why it works: Research on mindfulness practice shows that simply labeling emotions and sensations activates the prefrontal cortex and calms the amygdala — the brain’s alarm system. As we say, name it and tame it.

2. "Be Curious, Not Judgmental."

Discomfort can bring up judgment of the moment as "bad," or even shame or self-criticism: “Why am I like this?”, "Why do I feel this way?" "Why is this happening to me?" Instead, ask: “What’s going on here?” Curiosity creates space. Judgment shrinks it.

Try this: Practice asking yourself open, compassionate questions like: What’s this feeling trying to protect me from? What does this part of me need right now? What would I say to a friend feeling this way?
Why it works: Curiosity has been linked to reduced anxiety and increased psychological resilience.

3. Change Your Body Posture

Your body and brain are constantly talking to each other and your nonverbal expressions account for most of your body’s communication with yourself, and to others. When you’re uncomfortable, your body and face are likely closed off, tight, and tense, communicating to your brain that something is wrong. Posture and facial expressions can impact mood and openness.

Try this: Half Smile: Scan your face for tension and relax each muscle. Gently turn up the corners of your mouth. Not forced—just soft and relaxed. Think Mona Lisa. Willing Hands: Unclench your fists, relax your shoulders, and rest your hands palm-up in your lap or at your sides. Think Savasana, or corpse pose. Allow yourself to stay in the half-smiling, willing hands position for a couple of minutes.
Why it works: These gestures communicate to the brain a state of openness and safety. Facial feedback research suggests that smiling can actually boost mood — even when you're not feeling joyful to start with.

4. Use Sensory Grounding

When emotions flood the system, coming back to the now is powerful. Grounding through the senses helps regulate the nervous system and bring you into the present moment.

Try This: Close your eyes for about 30 seconds. When you open them again, scan your environment as if you have never seen this space before; as if you are an alien from Mars experiencing the sights, smells, sounds, sensations around you for the first time. Pay attention to your surroundings with a beginner's mind, taking it all in with newness and openness.
Why it works: Grounding activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the sympathetic nervous system, or the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response.

5. Gratitude for the Moment

Gratitude doesn’t erase discomfort—but it can expand your perspective. It helps you hold both pain and joy in the same hand. We can be uncomfortable AND find gratitude in the present moment at the same time.

Try this: Find one thing in this exact moment to be grateful for—the lungs that help you breathe, the feet that help you get to where you want to go, the playlist you’re listening to, the fact that you live during the age of modern plumbing. Pick anything.
Why it works: Gratitude practices are shown to improve mood and resilience. They help us reframe experiences and activate reward-related areas in the brain.

6. Tap Into Laughter

Laughter doesn’t have to be forced or performative. Sometimes, humor is your nervous system’s way of releasing tension or reclaiming power. Discomfort can feel all-consuming, but humor helps create emotional breathing room.

Try this: Watch a funny video and let yourself get absorbed in the fun of it, share a funny meme, or recall a time you laughed until you cried. Think about a friend's contagious laugh. Just start to laugh, a la Joker style, and see where it takes you. Even anticipating laughter has physiological benefits.
Why it works: Laughter lowers cortisol (stress hormone) and increases endorphins — your natural mood boosters. Laughter sends a signal to your brain that you're safe.

Joy Isn't the Absence of Discomfort — It's What We Find Within It

Discomfort doesn’t have to be a dead end. With the right tools, it can be a pathway to self-discovery, connection, and yes — even joy. The next time discomfort shows up, pause and invite it in like a teacher. You might be surprised by what it has to offer.